From A Whisper To A Scream:
When Your Horse Can't Hear You

New Clinician in Town!

Riding high on the success of such books as 'You're My Mare Not
My Mother' and 'Denial Ain't What Keeps The Horseshoe On', Pamela
Wilsby-Higgins is holding clinics across the US to promote her latest
book and infomercials 'From A Whisper To A Scream: When Your Horse
Can't Hear You'. 

The plucky blonde, so progressive in her methods of equine
communication she's called "The Woman Who E-Mails to Horses", is the
first woman to receive national attention in the growing field of
touchy-feely horse training.

Although successful, Pamela has been criticized for her unorthodox
techniques and is the first to admit she's not a traditional horse
trainer.

"Training is such a worn out concept, even the word 'train' is
archaic, it comes from the Old French trahiner, to drag. And that's
just what training is, a BIG DRAG!

"What I'm interested in is communicating with problem horses, letting
them know they're not alone. Since I too have issues with trust and a
history of abusive, dysfunctional relationships, I understand what
they're going through. I can also relate to frustrated riders. As I
wrote in 'You're My Mare Not My Mother', at one point a guilt-tripping
gelding shamed me into believing if I were a prettier, thinner,
smarter person I wouldn't be having riding problems.

"My goal is to facilitate people away from the 'Self-Centered' riding
made popular in the 1980s to a more 'Co-Dependant' riding where the
horse and rider work closely to deepen their relationship and become
enmeshed in the riding experience."

In defense of reports that her clinics are among the most expensive in
this new industry, Pamela is unapologetic. 

"You get what you pay for. Horses are individuals and it takes time to
discover what form of communication works best for them."

"Whispering to horses is fine, but some respond better to murmuring
or babbling, while still others prefer mime or slide shows.

"I have found when working with a herd, semaphore is the most effective."

Pamela further points out that not all bad horse behavior is the result
of a negative breaking experience.

"Horses are very sensitive and can have a variety of problems, both
emotional and paranormal. They can suffer from depression, low
self-esteem, eating disorders, even repressed memories.

"Most people are unaware of the large number of horses who are
survivors of alien abduction. I have found that repressed memories
of such abductions are the primary cause of trailering difficulties.

"There are also horses unfairly labeled 'spooky,' when their
behavior is actually an appropriate response to poltergeist activity."

Pamela's symposiums cover a wide range of topics, such as:
Reimprinting the Inner Foal; Obsessive/Compulsive Dressage;
Gymkhanta? Andelusions of Grandeur; Bi-Polar Bending; SAD in
Arabians; Fear of Flying Lead Changes; and of course:
Feeling Suicidal? Consider Eventing.

When not on tour, Pamela offers weekend retreats at Passing Wind, her
Malibu, California Ranch, that focus on specific breeds and riding
disciplines.

She will also customize sessions to meet a client's particular
needs and budget.

"Once we even re-birthed a Tennessee Walker to help her face her
'Water issues.' It was exhilarating and only 3 or 4 people were
injured."

Pamela was unable to comment further on this event as the matter
is still in litigation.

Pamela began developing her techniques under the tutelage of GoWaan
PoOLmiFynGer, the charismatic shaman of the Diamond-Phillips tribe
and author of the ground breaking book, 'Horse Buck Hard.'

"The whole monosyllabism of 'Horse Buck Hard'overwhelmed me with
its Zen. I knew instantly I had to study with him."

GoWaan PoOLmiFynGer introduced Pamela to his tribe's ancient practices
of Equine-Aromatherapy, Prance-Channeling, Stall Feng Shui, Public
Relations and Marketing.

"GoWaan taught me so much. Not only did I learn how frequently riders
with dysfunctional personal lives project unresolved emotional issues
onto their horses, but the outrageous amounts of money they are willing
to pay to be told it isn't their fault."

Pamela went on to become GoWaan PoOLmiFynGer's assistant when he toured
to promote his calendar and video, 'Buckskin, Beads and Beefcake'.

"It was a great gig," she reflects, "but I knew it wouldn't last, when I
noticed most of the women attending his sold-out clinics didn't have
horses."

She next traveled to the Australian outback, where she studied with
acclaimed Snowy River Kanguru Bruce Fosters, whose masterwork, 'The
Principles Of Bonding From Brumbies to The Boardroom', has become an
integral part of the executive training programs of many multinational
corporations.

"Bruce is an incredible visionary. He was the first person to theorize
that a rearing horse is really just asking for a hug!"

Since starting her own clinics, Pamela has emphasized the differences
between her methods and those of her contemporaries, but she does admit
to performing the crowd pleasing, ubiquitous get-an-unstarted-horse-to-
accept-a saddle, bit, bridle and rider-without-breaking-its-spirit-in-
under-an hour demonstration.

"Of course, since I'm using the techniques I've developed, my version
is different from what people have come to expect after seeing other
clinicians.

"For example, I find using a pyramid-shaped pen, instead of a round pen,
brings more energy to the session. I also use indirect lighting, scented
candles and soft music.

"I start by having a few glasses of wine with the horse, then begin to
recount my earliest childhood memories of separation and abandonment, while
lunging the horse at a trot.

"After several minutes of this, usually at the point in my litany of
victimization where my abusive second husband leaves me for my farrier,
the horse will begin to go through a visible change.

"While still at a trot, it will start shaking its head and trying to
cover its ears.

"This is the moment I call 'The Throw Up.'

"The Throw Up is the point a horses reaches when it can't stand listening
to my problems any more and will do anything to get me to stop, including
being saddled, bridled and ridden for the first time.

"People think it's magic when they see how willing the horse becomes once
I shut up and start saddling, but there's nothing mysterious about it. I just
have a very annoying voice and more issues than T.V. Guide."

Future goals for Pamela include developing a web site, and a 1-900 number.

"I envision a network where for only 99 cents per minute, riders can speak to
their own Psychic Tele-Trainer, that I've personally educated.

"I also plan to explore the financial aspects of communicating with other
animal species. I'm willing to discourse with dogs or chat with cats. I'll
even vocalize with vermin if there's money in it."

credit to rec.equestrian for the posted spoof, july 1998
author: Trelaine Lewis
name of article: "Shadow Hills Grazette"

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